Turning Grief into Outreach
For years, Mike Goodwin of Fairfield couldn't talk about the devastating loss of his son, Joshua.
"I had heard that there were things available to help people who were grieving, but I didn't want to talk to anybody about anything," said the U.S. Air Force veteran. "And I didn't, for five years."
A former police officer and current criminal justice professor at Solano Community College, Goodwin said he tried to find a reason or purpose for his son's death — something to make sense of it.
"I never did," he said. "Then I decided that if I couldn't find a purpose for his death, I'd find a purpose for the life I had remaining, a purpose much bigger than me and one that could help me heal."
He contacted NorthBay Hospice about becoming a bereavement volunteer, and after completing the training process has remained involved in many ways. He meets one-on-one with people who are in crisis. He supports NorthBay Bereavement's eight-week "Journey Through Grief" sessions, makes follow-up calls to those in the program, and volunteers at the annual Tree of Memories.
Now he's working with NorthBay to give other veterans the chance to not only deal with their grief, but to help others overcome losses.
NorthBay Hospice & Bereavement is partnering with "We Honor Veterans," a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, in collaboration with the Department of Veteran Affairs. It works with hospice organizations to provide staff and volunteers with educational tools and resources to help them to better understand military culture and the unique needs of veterans.
"Only someone who has been to war knows what it's like to live with those traumatic memories," said Linda Pribble, bereavement coordinator for NorthBay Hospice & Bereavement. "And only another veteran could know how this might affect another veteran."
This is especially true for those seeking a peaceful ending, she added.
"That's why we are actively recruiting veterans to serve as hospice and bereavement volunteers."
A new hospice and bereavement training program will launch in October, Pribble said, and veterans, as well as other interested persons, are invited to apply now. Interested candidates need to fill out an application in advance, agree to a background check and a TB test. The specialized volunteer training process takes 30 hours.
Anyone — veteran or not — interested in becoming a hospice or bereavement volunteer is encouraged to contact Pribble at (707) 646-3517.
"I like the idea of being there for veterans," said Goodwin. "Many of them are just not aware of all the resources that are available to help. Many of our older veterans are of a generation that didn't much address grief, except to say 'just keep moving on, just deal with it.'"
While many have done just that, Goodwin wants to offer an alternative.
"I give a lot of credit to people who have the courage to talk about their grief after only a few months. I couldn't do it. But, people don't have to suffer their loss alone," he said. "There are people here that you can talk to, and who will listen."